Harry Potter and the Statistically Generated Nonsense

Immediately after hearing that JK wasn’t going to write any more Harry Potter books I vomited with disappointment, then shortly after started working on a Harry Potter book generator. (more…)

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Enormous video maps

This was a serious case of making-the-tool-before-coming-up-with-good-use-for-it. Inspired by Deep Zoom (example), and the way Photoshop handles working with huge canvases by caching it on disk as small tiles, I decided to write a Java library that allows you to have ginormous canvases in processing (the limiting factor being hard disk space). It essentially shifts the memory usage from RAM on to the disk. The canvas can then be exported straight into Deep Zoom format. So I laboured away and finished it…then thought, well what the hell shall I do with it now? (more…)

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Coastal Towers

Last weekend I was by the sea and I noticed how coastal formations would make fucking epic towers if they were rotated on their sides with clouds in place of the sea, and I thought it was about time I had a Photoshop workout (it’s been a while). Then desaturate, up the contrast, slap some lighting effects on for some mood, and job done. Some work better than others, but I think the one I’m most pleased with is the ‘Bridges’ one for my cheeky use of the Clifton suspension bridge.

All the source images were snaffled off the web, so thanks, internet. (more…)


The Artifact (opening paragraph)

The razor-sharp horizon slashes through the scene, splitting it cleanly across the middle into a dichotomy of blinding white desert and intense blue sky. There are just two imperfections in this otherwise symmetrical space: the vast pillar of dark ash that hides the distant Artifact, shrunk to a dirty brush-stroke with distance; and her footprints, though even they are quickly being erased by the wind. (more…)

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I See

I see a lighthouse with its orange beacon static in the night, its silhouette defined by the fractionally lighter shade of its background, the sea. (more…)

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A variation on the avoiders algorithm to allow snatching colours from images and circular walls. Here the avoiders are contained within a circle, and the colours are taken from various images of nebula (specifically the horsehead nebula), resulting in tasty planetoids. (more…)



Osciple is a sound toy built in Processing using the Beads synthesis library. Part 1D wave simulation, part additive synthesizer, Osciple fills all of some of your 1D wave simulation and additive synthesizer needs (depending on your needs). Click around aimlessly as the ripples transform into rolling sci-fi soundscapes, really futuristicy swoopy sounds and ever-so-rich harmonic drones. Then stop and move onto the next bit of internet pap. But it’s entertaining for a while at least. You can find it here. (more…)


Complete Me

“And what do you think this is?”, the creaky curator drones, her voice the same soporific, steady tone as the boiler in my flat. The blissful sensation of listening to its purr while enveloped in my duvet comes back to haunt me, and I wish I was still wrapped in its warm embrace. (more…)


Six Sentence Story – In the Bath

She stared through the lazily rising mist to the tap at the end of the bath and into the warped world within it, where a grotesquely distorted version of herself lay glaring back at her, tense in the warm lavender-scented waters. (more…)

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Bryn – The Chrome Extension

Each year for my mate’s birthday present I have to come up with some more useless and humiliating than the last. Previous years presents have included Bryn – The VST and Bryn – The Screensaver. This year it’s Bryn – The Chrome Extension. Stated simply, it Brynifies your web experience. If ‘Brynify’ is a new word for you, the screenshots below should give you its meaning.


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